As a boy I read stories about knights and dragons, about King Aurthur and his noble knights of the round table, their morality and bravery more important than their own lives. I wondered if I would ever have the courage to demonstrate such bravery. I imagined myself as a magnificent shield to the weak, as a sword of justice! Having recently watched a series of Batman movies many of these sentiments return. Now as a grown man of the ripe age of 31, I smile to myself as I remember. My life has developed some of these sentiments, I guess. As I prepare for a medical career, I feel its more of the shield and less of the righteous sword, which is potentially less awesome, in the DC comics sense. Its difficult to imagine the "Avenging Medic" destroying evil bacteria at every turn!
Laughing at myself, I re-read my last blog post. A more serious air drifts back into my mind as I contemplate the motivations behind writing it. Perhaps my bravery is in a different form. I have no dragons to fight (Broke up with them long ago!! HAHA snap!.. sorry), I have myself, my mind with which to do battle. My weapon is my intelligence and my determination. My shield is my family, love and understanding. This is a long and drawn out battle, it is invisible to everyone except those closest to me. I will not receive honour and glory for my fight, I will suffer the stigma that goes with mental illness. No gold, glory and castles, although I do have my fair maiden! :)I know that I will win, I have zero doubt. I also know others do not win and sometimes they die when they lose their fight. I want to bring this out of the invisible world, and into the light.
I hope you have stuck with me through my King Arthur metaphor. I'll leave it there for now.
So to clarify, I was writing about my own experience, but it was not simply a self-indulgent, sympathy grab. I was not looking for help. I warmly appreciate the love and understanding that I have been given, but this was not my goal. I wanted people to get a glimpse of how painful a condition depression can be. I wanted people to think 'wow, he has described some of the things that i've felt!'. I wanted to start a discussion about mental health.
I don't have the answers to cure mental health diseases. I don't even know how to fix the crappy management of mental health in Australian health systems. What i DO know, is that the place to start those issues is to try to help shift the perception of mental health in Australia.
At the hospital where I work, the mental health ward is in the basement. You literally have to take the lift to "Lower Ground". Now while I can't claim wisdom in the area of logistics associated with running a hospital, it is fairly easy to see how this location might conjure up some negative associations.
I tired this week, I've been on night shift, so I wont go on and on. 'Keep it simple stupid' is some great wisdom. So here are some main points to go home with.
- I have/do suffer mental health problems
- I'm not ashamed of this
- I'm a pretty ok person, and my medical illness doesn't take away from that.
- I would argue that depression makes me a better doctor (but thats another blog)
- I want each of you reading this to think about how you would feel about having depression
- are you ashamed?, do you feel defective? would you tell anyone?
Until we think of mental illness as a medical illness, the negative stigma will exist.
Diabetics make less or no insulin (type 1), therefore they must be cautious in their physical activity and diet, otherwise they suffer worsening symptoms
Depressives make less serotonin, therefore they must be cautious in their physical activity and diet, otherwise they suffer worsening symptoms.
Its not magic folks. It's just science. Deal with it.
The Grumpy Kid expects discussion this time. Google gives me stats on hits. Over 200 people clicked on my blog last time, lets assume half of those were by accident (my ego just took a hit..), and lets assume half those who meant it, didn't care. So that leaves around 50 people who read it, cared about the issue and didn't write anything!!
Step up. Think of King Arthur. Be brave.
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