Student Depression

The young people of Australia are dying. Last year nearly as many young people died from suicide as from car accidents. In addition to this horrific statistic there are multitudes of wonderful people, who thankfully havn't and will not take their lives, who's suffering, lost relationships, lost work and ongoing pain epitomises this disease.

 Random bystander - "Yeah, OK Grumpy Kid, you are making us all feel sad and helpless with your statistics... what the!?"

GK - "Ok well, stick with me. Why do I care? I am one who lives with depression every day. Have done for around 12 years. Everyone has up's and down's, but over the last decade, I have swung from feeling almost normal and good, to hollow, dead inside and completely suicidal. Various well meaning doctors, psychiatrists, friends, family, lovers and strangers have noticed, tried to help, actually helped, made it worse, anything you can imagine.

I persevere. The days that big, black cloud comes flowing over me again, my stomach starts to churn, I get almost dizzy with the smallest, normal effort. I close my eyes and think of all the good things in my life. They appear in my minds eye as a tiny, warm cloud of light, almost extinguished by the immense, black, sticky storm looming down on me. Like a glow-worm trying to illuminate the deepest, darkest, hot-tar-filled cave which is slowly filling with smoke. Even up close, after your eyes have adjusted, its still barely visible.

CBT, diet, exercise, love, music, friendship, family, art, laughter and wine. These are probably the things that are mostly responsible for my continuing life, in no specific order.

But forget all that, I've worked with young kids with almost overwealming mental health problems, in addition to social situations that are staggering for their sheer lack of opportunity, love and stability.

I've talked to other students with ongoing depressive illnesses. Some of my best friends have suffered crippling anxiety disorders since childhood. I've seen them in the grips of the paralysing fear, as they freeze, 'turn off', and just can't move. The internal, cognitive war is so evident. Battles as large as you can imagine, literally, attack her innocent mind as she struggles to just walk to the car and go to work. The people around her, frustrated at the years of seeming inactivity, struggle to support, strive to understand the invisible struggle wrenching her mind apart, daily.

Those are the reasons I am talking about this. These are the people who need more understanding, more love, more help.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au

I will speak my minds shame now. I have heard of heroic battles against cancer, seen "backyard blitz" serve love and appreciation to wonderful people suffering diseases, so deserving of help... and I have wished and begged the universe,"please, PLEASE, give me cancer, give me leukaemia, kill me if you want, just give me a disease where people will understand the struggle, a disease that is 'heroic', not this shameful, wasted, invisible, pityfullly-paralysing depression. My cowardly mind begs for recognition of my suffering. If only people could see it, a giant flag, take a limb! ANYTHING so that I wouldn't just be this weak, crying, mess, begging for death.

That is why we need to talk. That is why we need to take this disease on, head on. My beautiful darling baby must live in a world that understands these things.

At university, at the hospital, everywhere I have worked and lived, I have encountered this disease. I often mention my affliction to people I meet, and so frighteningly often I am greeted by a beautifully open and sharing answer They discuss their own experience with depression and anxiety. I have talked to professors, lawyers, doctors (so many doctors!), tradies, shop owners, mechanics, school kids and university students with similar experiences. All wonderful caring people, all in pain.

I have been frustrated at our lack, angered at our response, saddened by the loss and overjoyed by the love and beauty of these people. I have been steeled to my singularly focussed movement towards a solution. There is no fight, there is only travel towards this answer. There will be no struggle, only fuel to my fire. There is no loss, only time spent on this path."

everyone - "... what should we do?"
GK "So glad you asked... please post comments and maybe we can get the discussion started. Our first area : Student Depression"
 

- Please do comment - GK