The physician who doctors himself has a fool for a patient.
Medical courses are inherently stressful. The intensity of the course, financial and personal cost all add to a lifestyle that is bizarre in its demands for your energy. As I embarked on my path towards Hippocrates staff and snake I asked myself a few key questions.
1. Am I actually intellectually able to complete this?
2. Will I be emotionally strong enough to do this?
3. Does my ongoing illness mean I will not be a good doctor?
All students probably question themselves and stride forwards. The medical community, in my view, is an eclectic mixture intelligent, driven, self-sacrificing and patient people. The magnitude of the demands that this group put on themselves lends them broad and high reaching success, and significant and sometimes severe personal cost.
Medical students subject to the stressors of medical life are at particular risk. There is much evidence that these stressors may impair judgement, reduce concentration and self esteem, increase anxiety and depression and even sometimes lead to suicide.
I was certainly affected by the nature of my study and lifestyle. I entered the medical school with some life experience and some medical conditions. My own experience is one of ongoing grappling with myself, in the sense that my personality and psychology has hindered and helped me. In 2001 I was diagnosed by my GP as having a Major Depressing Disorder. At the time, I was, well depressed about my kind doctors advice. My family has suffered a particularly sharp end of the psychological stick and can surely attest to the heredity of this condition.
Depression is a funny thing. Oxymoronic as that may sound, it is true. The Dark Passenger. Jung's Shadow seeding creative potential. An intelligent mind will find any number of beautiful descriptions of the imbalance that is inherent in depression. The stark reality being that your ability to function drops like a stone.
Regardless of your perspective on the medical profession as 'needing' the self sacrificing nature or not, no one will argue that a depressed doctor is impaired. So, as Bill said, the Rub= Can I be a good doctor? The answers have come in a variety of epiphanies.
1. The shadow needs an outlet, so create! Paint, dance, sing, graffiti, armpit-fart, plant a tree, make a boat!
2. Be kind to yourself! (especially when you are sick)-->(would you ask this of an uncontrolled diabetic? or an epileptic?)
3. You are ahead of the game, they are trying to figure out a way to add suffering to the curriculum, you have it for fREEE! :P
4. If your question is, Can I be a good doctor, then your eyes are on the right goal, therefore the answer is YES!
The latter half of this will deal with assisting future generations of medical folk. I know that the UQ medical school is currently developing some kind of student welfare and care system. This is something that MUST go ahead. We as senior medical students have walked the road and know the pot-holes. Please share your wisdom!
I know that a very large percentage of my colleagues will have had similar difficulties with their personal and personality problems. I know that many of you have sought help for depression and anxiety. I also know that you dont like to talk about it. You dont want to admit to your 'elite' colleagues that some humanity exists within your MEDICAL-ROBOT brain. So if you have read this far, please, can I leave you with this request. Please talk to us about your experience. Share your battles and difficulties. Imagine the benefit to future years if depression is not taboo, but is understood and managed. If anxiety is expected and tools and mechanisms to channel it to useful ends are given to first years!
Please talk to us, talk to each other, start with your friends. I have talked a little about my personal challenges publicly, but you needn't do that. Just help me to reduce the stigma that we are perpetuating around these issues so that we can move forward, strongly and united as the excellent people that we all are.
Grumpy Kid
http://www.mja.com.au/public/issues/177_01_010702/suppl_010702.html
http://www.beyondblue.com.au
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