Sad Kids

They were screaming at each other again. He bit down on his pencil, the metallic-paint taste creeping into his mouth, followed by the wood crumbs. Closing his eyes he tried to block out the voices coming from downstairs. Dad had just arrived home with the familiar drawn-out tone and bottle clanking. Mum was still speaking in strained anxiety, trying to calm him down. 


A plate, or something, hit the wall below his room, crashing to tiled floor with cringe-worthy finality. Mum's final frightened cry was followed by silence. Lying on his side, on his bed, the boy with eyes closed and hands to ears was curled in the fetal position. A single tear ran to safety away from the body that knew what was to come. The tension, fear and then pain. The pain was almost a blessing after the half-hour of yelling abuse and threats. A single boot thumped down onto the bottom step downstairs. His stomach tightened. A second step, sounding hesitant, but only reflecting its masters level of inebriation. The boys arms wrapped around himself tighter. He was coming...






The introduction of PTSD in the psychiatric classification system in 1980 has led to extensive scientific studies of that diagnosis. However, over the past 25 years there has been a relatively independent and parallel emergence of the field of Developmental Psychopathology (e.g. Maughan & Cicchetti, 2002; Putnam, Trickett, Yehuda, & McFarlane, 1997), which has documented the effects of interpersonal trauma and disruption of caregiving systems on the development of affect regulation, attention, cognition, perception, and interpersonal relationships. A third significant development has been the increasing documentation of the effects of adverse early life experiences on brain development (e.g. De Bellis et al., 2002; Teicher et al., 2003), neuroendocrinology (e.g.Hart, Gunnar, & Cicchetti, 1995; Lipschitz et al., 2003) and immunology (e.g. Putnam et al., 1997; Wilson et al, 1999)


There has been an ongoing realisation that the current diagnostic criteria do not address the particular situation of ongoing trauma in young people and the sequale of difficulties in the areas of affect regualtion, interpersonal relationships, physiological regulation and response to stress. The particular diagnosis of Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD) describes young people traumatized by interpersonal violence in the context of inadequate caregiving systems.


A widening body of evidence is supporting the proposition that the currently used diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder is roughly adequate, with minor modifications, in children who have undergone an isolated traumatic event. Evidence suggests that most childhood trauma is ongoing and repeated. In addition it is most often at the hands of adults who are in a caregiving role. The particular difficulties associated with this type of trauma are proposed to be captured in this new diagnostic criteria in the DSM-V (2013). 




CONSENSUS PROPOSED CRITERIA FOR DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA DISORDER
A. Exposure. The child or adolescent has experienced or witnessed multiple or prolonged adverse events over a period of at least one year beginning in childhood or early adolescence, including:
            1. Direct experience or witnessing of repeated and severe episodes of interpersonal violence; and
            2. Significant disruptions of protective caregiving as the result of repeated changes in primary caregiver; repeated separation from the primary caregiver; or exposure to severe and persistent emotional abuse
B. Affective and Physiological Dysregulation. The child exhibits impaired normative developmental competencies related to arousal regulation, including at least two of the following:
             1. Inability to modulate, tolerate, or recover from extreme affect states (e.g., fear, anger, shame), including prolonged and extreme tantrums, or immobilization
             2. Disturbances in regulation in bodily functions (e.g. persistent disturbances in sleeping, eating, and elimination; over-reactivity or under-reactivity to touch and sounds; disorganization during routine transitions)
             3. Diminished awareness/dissociation of sensations, emotions and bodily states
             4. Impaired capacity to describe emotions or bodily states
C. Attentional and Behavioral Dysregulation: The child exhibits impaired normative developmental competencies related to sustained attention, learning, or coping with stress, including at least three of the following:
              1. Preoccupation with threat, or impaired capacity to perceive threat, including misreading of safety and danger cues
              2. Impaired capacity for self-protection, including extreme risk-taking or thrill-seeking
              3. Maladaptive attempts at self-soothing (e.g., rocking and other rhythmical movements, compulsive masturbation)
              4. Habitual (intentional or automatic) or reactive self-harm
                5. Inability to initiate or sustain goal-directed behavior
D. Self and Relational Dysregulation. The child exhibits impaired normative developmental competencies in their sense of personal identity and involvement in relationships, including at least three of the following:
              1. Intense preoccupation with safety of the caregiver or other loved ones (including precocious caregiving) or difficulty tolerating reunion with them after separation
              2. Persistent negative sense of self, including self-loathing, helplessness, worthlessness, ineffectiveness, or defectiveness
              3. Extreme and persistent distrust, defiance or lack of reciprocal behavior in close relationships with adults or peers
              4. Reactive physical or verbal aggression toward peers, caregivers, or other adults
              5. Inappropriate (excessive or promiscuous) attempts to get intimate contact (including but not limited to sexual or physical intimacy) or excessive reliance on peers or adults for safety and reassurance
              6. Impaired capacity to regulate empathic arousal as evidenced by lack of empathy for, or intolerance of, expressions of distress of others, or excessive responsiveness to the distress of others
E. Posttraumatic Spectrum Symptoms. The child exhibits at least one symptom in at least two of the three PTSD symptom clusters B, C, & D.
F. Duration of disturbance (symptoms in DTD Criteria B, C, D, and E) at least 6 months.
G. Functional Impairment. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in at two of the following areas of functioning:
                 • Scholastic: under-performance, non-attendance, disciplinary problems, drop-out, failure to complete degree/credential(s), conflict with school personnel, learning disabilities or intellectual impairment that cannot be accounted for by neurological or other factors.
                  • Familial: conflict, avoidance/passivity, running away, detachment and surrogate replacements, attempts to physically or emotionally hurt family members, non-fulfillment of responsibilities within the family.
                  • Peer Group: isolation, deviant affiliations, persistent physical or emotional conflict, avoidance/passivity, involvement in violence or unsafe acts, age-inappropriate affiliations or style of interaction.
                  • Legal: arrests/recidivism, detention, convictions, incarceration, violation of probation or other court orders, increasingly severe offenses, crimes against other persons, disregard or contempt for the law or for conventional moral standards.
                 • Health: physical illness or problems that cannot be fully accounted for physical injury or degeneration, involving the digestive, neurological (including conversion symptoms and analgesia), sexual, immune, cardiopulmonary, proprioceptive, or sensory systems, or severe headaches (including migraine) or chronic pain or fatigue.
                 • Vocational (for youth involved in, seeking or referred for employment, volunteer work or job training): disinterest in work/vocation, inability to get or keep jobs, persistent conflict with co-workers or supervisors, under-employment in relation to abilities, failure to achieve expectable advancements.


So its a little wordy, but the points (bold) are clear. A child undergoes trauma, from a caregiver over a long period of time. This child fails to learn concepts of safety, predictability and emotional self-management. This child grows older and begins to display behaviour such as over-reaction and anger difficulties, poor sleeping and attention, dysfunctional interpersonal relationships, disassociative reactions to stressful life events. The criteria may seem broad at first glance but are in fact more constrictive than many in the DSM currently. 


The purpose of a diagnosis is primarily to track a patient down a particular treatment pathway. In psychiatry some medications are even unavailable unless a patient has a particular diagnosis, regardless of that medications efficacy in other areas. The importance of the addition of this diagnosis into the newest edition of the DSM will spawn field trials and further research in this area by allowing the selection of specific candidates. This is invaluable in the betterment of our treatment of this dramatically vital aspect of medicine.


Childhood trauma in the form of sexual and physical abuse are frighteningly prevalent in Australia in 2011. Understanding of the life-long fallout of this crime must assist clinicians in assisting these individuals to better mental health. It is undoubtable that many people who suffer abuse are at a higher risk of committing abuse or other crime. For Australian society to stride into the new century with our eyes on a kinder, fairer and safer world for our young people, we must protect them in childhood, and as the DTD diagnosis tells us, protect them in the future. 




http://scholar.googleusercontent.com/scholar?q=cache:n63VpWLbQo4J:scholar.google.com/+developmental+trauma+disorder&hl=en&as_sdt=0,5&as_vis=1
http://gradworks.umi.com/33/87/3387359.html

Dusty the Kelpie

The world looked blurred, and heat surrounded his eyes. Struggling for breath he stuttered and inward gasp, and sobbed on. The pain in the pit of his stomach twisted its cruel fingers up his spine, into his throat. He was gone. Those brown eyes flashed into his mind as another sob racked his small body. The soft brown fur that had warmed him as they lay in the grass of the paddock behind the big shed. He had scratched his belly as he rolled, writhing in the grass to capture an elusive itch. Only to roll towards him and lick a pungent breathed tongue into the boys ear. Giggling with discomfort he'd leaped up, and ran down the hill...

The smallish, brown kelpie snapped to his feet and bolted after the laughing boy, his joy in play only eclipsed by his determination. Very young the kelpie had been introduced to the boy. As a tiny pup he'd scratched on the boys door at night, curled his small body around his neck, then sneakily crawled under the boys blankets to the delightfully out-of-bounds warmth of the bed. They had shared breakfast since then, with the boy handing treats under the wooden breakfast table in the bright lounge of his family. The dog had lounged, waited and anxiously watched for the big truck that ferried his master home each afternoon, never certain he would return. Then delirious with joy when he did.

But now he ran. The cool air broken by the dogs hot breath. The boy was fast, and had almost reached the big tree, before the dam. The friendly brown kelpie widened his stride and stepped past the boys blurred feet and jumped. Laughing now, the young boy had to leap over the playful pup to avoid his gentle doggish snap. They both tumbled, in thick green grass to a sudden halt and the pup was upon him. With a playful puppy growl his wide mouth toothed the boys hands, outstretched in the defense, and play. They lay back, resting now.

As they stood, the dogs ears rose, his left paw curled as he stooped into a hunting stance. A low grumble ambled from his throat as his heightened senses felt some change. A second later the white clothed men rounded the corner of the house, half a kilometer away. They placed what could only be described as spacesuit helmets on their heads and strode towards the stables.

The boy placed a comforting hand on the dogs neck to calm him. It was to be the last of such warmth the dog would know. The boys grief resonated across the town. The state knew of their own pets, of their own children and their learning of loss and greif. If we could spare them we would. But Dusty the kelpie, and his boy master have made a grand sacrifice for us all. To die in the protection of his master and family, Dusty died a hero of all kelpies, and boys alike.

Anhedonic Academics 2 : The research

Response to the survey was not incredible, however most responders felt that more than 25% of medical students would have symptoms of depression. Several studies have assessed symptoms of Depression in Medical Student populations all over the world. The real data suggests that medical student populations do have a higher level of depressive symptoms that other similar non-medical populations, however the exact proportion varies from 16% up to 38% in one South American study.

It takes little research to realise that universities all over the world are grappling with this data and have taken a variety of approaches to tackle it. Online anonymous forums allowed students of Duke University in North Carolina to speak openly about their feelings of hesitance to disclose their illness publicly. They felt that their opinion as a medical professional, and subsequently a doctor would be devalued by the diagnosis. This is a worrisome precedent, and I know that many students in the University of Queensland feel similarly.

Lets take a step back for a second to clarify. I said that they felt their opinion was devalued, simply by the diagnosis. Regardless of adequate medical management and pharmacological control over the condition, they felt that it showed weakness, or mental frailty, to be suffering with this condition, and this would subsequently reduce the validity of any statement they may make. Short of making overwhelming generalising statements about the absurdity of students having to feel this, i will note that images of medieval church, inquisitions from south-eastern Europe and hunting for female pagans come to mind.

I have depression. There i said it. There is no doubt that when depression is uncontrolled it will adversely effect my academic performance. As would uncontrolled epilepsy, asthma or diabetes. I simply refuse to separate these conditions, with regard to the mental integrity of the sufferee's. I am an intelligent, artistic, educated man and I suffer from depression. I need to exercise and take some medication to control it. This is simply the way of this disease. I still occasionally get 7's in medical school... occasionally.

Please comment, anonymously if you wish, about your feelings on this issue. The Kid remains unconvinced that Australia is able to maturely discuss mental health. Let's see....

http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp058183
http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/12/05/depression-among-medical-students/3457.html
http://www.health.gov.au/internet/mentalhealth/Publishing.nsf/Content/Home-1

How the roses grew

A sadness spread across the world in moments. Myriad connections fired, linked and we all knew. Eyes glazed over as we spared our minds the full force of the tragedy. Again, weapons had fired, young people fell.A single individual person has allowed his shadow to rule. He was unable to overcome himself, and failed. He failed to retain any humanity, any reality, any connection to other entities around him. He even failed to achieve his goal.

A sudden growth, a blossom of text and discussion about this one act has floridly spread through our communications media. The common rhetoric that follows these events. A bland discussion about the computer games he had played and cries of "causality!". Christian groups voraciously distancing themselves from the individual. Conservative groups sternly shaking their heads at the back of the crowd, stealing glances at each other. They had to admit, his political leanings were similar to their own. Hadn't they joked about doing it? The blood Islamic's ARE taking our jobs and ruining Europe...  They stop, catching themselves short of actually admitting it.

The human race has shown in excruciating detail and duplication its keen ability to slaughter. A beautiful and loving message is delivered to two sides of a dispute, in separate but individually meaningful ways. Both sides listen and then effortlessly mutate, disfigure and maim the message into unrecognizable horror. They tear at it, gnaw at its sides and dig beneath its fingernails until finally it turns, angrily and roars its fury at this treatment. It launches forwards mauling each group. Their injuries put fear into their hearts, and anger.

The absurdity of the recent abhorrent actions beings described as a 'political statement' strikes me like a blow. I stop eating my breakfast and place the bowl down in front of me. The pathetic, cowardly actions of a single traitor are simply that.

A beautiful act of defiance soothed the erythematous, inflamed web of information today. 100,000 Norwegians marched through Oslo, carrying roses. Each adding a drop to the wave of caring, loving defiance to the cruelty they have endured. The result of this event is unite the people of this region in solidarity. They will not allow this to define them. They will endure with the acceptance of many people of a variety of backgrounds into their country, which is one of the richest in the world.

Please try to defeat your fears. Be strong in your resistance of cruelty. Make a decision that turns the path, at the fork, from cruelty to love and caring. A single bifurcation in the that surrounds our planet may seem insignificant, but it is a single neuron, in the brain of our global community. We choose our path, together. Please choose with wisdom and thought.

Anhedonic Academics

The physician who doctors himself has a fool for a patient.

Sir William Osler, 1849–1919

Medical courses are inherently stressful. The intensity of the course, financial and personal cost all add to a lifestyle that is bizarre in its demands for your energy. As I embarked on my path towards Hippocrates staff and snake I asked myself a few key questions.
1. Am I actually intellectually able to complete this?
2. Will I be emotionally strong enough to do this?
3. Does my ongoing illness mean I will not be a good doctor?

All students probably question themselves and stride forwards. The medical community, in my view, is an eclectic mixture intelligent, driven, self-sacrificing and patient people. The magnitude of the demands that this group put on themselves lends them broad and high reaching success, and significant and sometimes severe personal cost.

Medical students subject to the stressors of medical life are at particular risk. There is much evidence that these stressors may impair judgement, reduce concentration and self esteem, increase anxiety and depression and even sometimes lead to suicide.

I was certainly affected by the nature of my study and lifestyle. I entered the medical school with some life experience and some medical conditions. My own experience is one of ongoing grappling with myself, in the sense that my personality and psychology has hindered and helped me. In 2001 I was diagnosed by my GP as having a Major Depressing Disorder. At the time, I was, well depressed about my kind doctors advice. My family has suffered a particularly sharp end of the psychological stick and can surely attest to the heredity of this condition.

Depression is a funny thing. Oxymoronic as that may sound, it is true. The Dark Passenger. Jung's Shadow seeding creative potential. An intelligent mind will find any number of beautiful descriptions of the imbalance that is inherent in depression. The stark reality being that your ability to function  drops like a stone.

Regardless of your perspective on the medical profession as 'needing' the self sacrificing nature or not, no one will argue that a depressed doctor is impaired. So, as Bill said, the Rub= Can I be a good doctor? The answers have come in a variety of epiphanies.

1. The shadow needs an outlet, so create! Paint, dance, sing, graffiti, armpit-fart, plant a tree, make a boat!
2. Be kind to yourself! (especially when you are sick)-->(would you ask this of an uncontrolled diabetic? or an epileptic?)
3. You are ahead of the game, they are trying to figure out a way to add suffering to the curriculum, you have it for fREEE! :P
4. If your question is, Can I be a good doctor, then your eyes are on the right goal, therefore the answer is YES!

The latter half of this will deal with assisting future generations of medical folk. I know that the UQ medical school is currently developing some kind of student welfare and care system. This is something that MUST go ahead. We as senior medical students have walked the road and know the pot-holes. Please share your wisdom!

I know that a very large percentage of my colleagues will have had similar difficulties with their personal and personality problems. I know that many of you have sought help for depression and anxiety. I also know that you dont like to talk about it. You dont want to admit to your 'elite' colleagues that some humanity exists within your MEDICAL-ROBOT brain. So if you have read this far, please, can I leave you with this request. Please talk to us about your experience. Share your battles and difficulties. Imagine the benefit to future years if depression is not taboo, but is understood and managed. If anxiety is expected and tools and mechanisms to channel it to useful ends are given to first years!

Please talk to us, talk to each other, start with your friends. I have talked a little about my personal challenges publicly, but you needn't do that. Just help me to reduce the stigma that we are perpetuating around these issues so that we can move forward, strongly and united as the excellent people that we all are.

Grumpy Kid

http://www.mja.com.au/public/issues/177_01_010702/suppl_010702.html
http://www.beyondblue.com.au

Clean and Green ... Like the HULK!

Well after many days of deliberation, its time for the Grumpy Kid to weigh in to this maelstrom of information, and misinformation, with a few words. 


The Carbon Tax is a good idea because 
 - Introduction of market forces (making polluting expensive) will cause large companies to reduce their output and become cheaper, simply because this will net them more customers and a better bottom line
- Some companies will pass costs on in the short term, but this will be unsustainable as cleaner companies will be able to provide a cheaper product.
- The establishment of 

• a $10 billion Clean Energy Finance Corporation
• invest $10 billion in businesses  seeking funds to get innovative clean energy proposals and technologies off the ground.
• Will also invest in existing manufacturing businesses to re-focus on meeting demand for inputs for these sectors, for example, manufacturing wind turbine blades and solar photo voltaic panels.
• an Australian Renewable Energy Agency (ARENA) to manage $3.2 billion in funding
• research and development into renewable energy technologies and initiatives to bring them to market.
• a $200 million Clean Technology Innovation Program (CTIP).
• support business investment in renewable energy, low emissions technology and energy efficiency.

- These three entities will interact to boost the renewable energy market, pulling the "dirty" rug out from under unclean (and therefore noncompetitive) competition. The CEFC will administer the funding and investment in new business and pay for ARENA and its non-political/independent funding of research and development. The CTIP will operate as a government program (poor history in this area, i know) to fund existing businesses who are trying to reduce emissions. 

The arguments against Carbon Tax
- Another tax which will raise the cost of living
- It will not achieve any significant reduction in global temperature
- The current government has a poor record of managing "programs".


Firstly, Qantas and Virgin airlines, Australia's biggest, annouced that they would pass on all the cost of the carbon tax to consumers, which would raise the average cost of a domestic flight by around $3 each. Last time i flew, i paid $9 for a sandwich, $4 for a muffin... Debate over.


Second point. The arguments against carbon tax have argued that even if this takes effect the actual change in temperature will be minimal. Australia alone cannot change global temperature. There is modelling which says that even if Australia ceased all CO2 output today, by 2050 the global temperature would only drop by 0.0154 degrees Celsius, however this modelling is based on the assumption that no other country changes its output between now and then. This is simply not true and we should do our part. Secondly to this point, are we all OK with pumping pollution into the atmosphere as long as the entire planet isn't destroyed. It's somehow fine to pollute as long as we dont COMPLETELY destroy the planet? Even the deontologists would agree that the result of a carbon tax is usefull, as well as the act in and of itself having function. 


In final argument to the third point, perhaps Mr Malcolm Turnbull could finally turn his business-bulldog, wealth amassing brain to some useful end? Perhaps running the CEFC?? Who better than Mr Turnbull to ruthlessly whip the renewable energy sector into economic shape. Perhaps it may even serve his own, tastelessly self-important, power hungry means? Prime Minister.. oh sorry, Emperor Turnbull, the guardian of the planet! We would probably vote for him :P haha


In conclusion, please read  - 
http://www.cleanenergyfuture.gov.au/
http://www.climatescience.org.au/news/news/2011-06-22_respectthescience.html
http://www.science.org.au/reports/climatechange2010.pdf
http://www.bom.gov.au/announcements/media_releases/ho/20100315a.pdf

Grumpy kid - respecting science
:)

Scary times ahead...

The Grumpy Kid slowly closes his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief at what he is hearing. Is this his culture? Is this his country? Rage pours forth from the TV News, a lady in a black robe amidst a group of furious men, surrounded then by another group of furious men. The Kid glances at his mum who is throwing worried looks at the television as she chops vegetables, at an increasing tempo.
"Mum, why are that all so angry at that lady in the black robe and mask thing?". Mum looks up and walks towards the TV, GK knows she's going to turn it over.
"Its absolutely ridiculous!", she pauses before the screen as a young Australian man is shown, talking calmly and then in a balaclava declaring his intention to walk down the street in protest, dressed in his scary outfit.
"This young man is probably only trying to make the point that these bur-qua cannot be a reason for anyone to be outside the law of Australia. But he's being so inflammatory!! Its all going to end with anger and violence if this is kept up. Australia is a land of religious tolerance. It is a multicultural, multi-religious, diverse community. We pride ourselves on taking people from all across the world and living in harmony together. Melbourne's colourful culinary kaleidoscope is due to immigration, for goodness sake. Since the goldfields, Australia has accommodated such a variety of cultures and this is where our strength comes from. Why is there this generation of anger and jealous .... well its nationalism isn't it!!  Where have they come from?..."
Suddenly she glances down at the Grumpy Kid who is a little wide-eyed now, his head cocked to one side like a curious puppy.
"So, they shouldn't be angry, mum?" She smiles and lets out her held in breath, the tension of the moment released by his innocent reply.
"They need to sit down together and talk about how to go forwards. They won't achieve anything by yelling and screaming at each other."
As if suddenly realising her point, The Grumpy Kid is nodding seriously.
"yeah, 'coz when Dad yells at the bloody umpire at the footy, it doesn't seem to help, hey mum? They always loose anyway!.
"maybe we should tell him when he gets home?" Mum is grinning now.

Please Australia, don't act this way in front of the kids. It is 2011. It is our responsibility to tackle these sensitive and difficult issues with the intelligence and delicacy that this age requires of us. We can no longer idly burn coal, throw rubbish out the window, use racist language or pretend in any other way, that we remain in the ignorant past. It is the responsibility of all Australian people to elevate our discussion from these rotting old ideas to the clean, new, early 21st century community of Earth that we are. Its a Global Village. Were all jammed in here together. Please don't make this harder than it is already.

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/queensland-police-wont-seek-power-to-remove-veils-20110705-1gzt9.html
http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/police-given-broad-powers-to-remove-facial-coverings-20110704-1gzer.html

The Grumpy Kid - The Wine begins...

The grumpier you are, the more they love you!

The grumpy kid makes friends quickly in the minefield of today's playground. His wandering scowl turning to a single raised eyebrow of disdain as his judgement, so recently germinated from his cunning mind, is about to be set forth among the innocent, waiting crowd. 

Like fireballs he sets forth, the monkey bars raised to the ground by a slight shaking head, a gentle downturn of the lip. The grumpy kid lays waste.
I sat back in awe. I'm in Grade 4 and terrified. Most of my schooling time is spent in awkward effort to fit in and be picked for the cricket teams. I could play, and I loved it, but I was never the best. The most frequently written word on my report cards.. "..has more potential, should apply himself". Well frankly miss, I'm not sure what 'apply myself' means, and lets be honest, thats mostly your fault...
So as i watched this kid, who was kind-of surly, a lot of the time (lets call him the Grumpy Kid), as he swaggered across the playground, his sullen face only matched by his laziness.
Nobody would cross this kid. Kids are pretty sensitive to energy, and this kid was bad. Like Michael Jackson Bad. He wore his dads blue, red and elastic white jacket, three or four sizes too big for him. He took balls from the sports shed, without asking. He was a badass. The boys were afraid of him. The girls seemed bewitched by him. The grumpy kid, was... cool.
As I wander through my life now I've paused for a moment to remember that Grumpy Kid. I saw his style, his demeanour and his 'cool' as something tangible. Maybe even, reproducible. It was an epiphany which still resonates today. --- I May Not Be As Cool As I Thought I Was ---

This single, powerful realisation, as sad as it may seem today, led me to another pivotal decision of my young life. I decided to stop trying to be cool. Admittedly it had been an impotent effort anyway, why not focus on my strengths!?
So to all those youths, spongy and absorbable minds that you have, look around you! You are trying to be cool, which, by definition (given to us by the big, orangy-haired, girl) makes you UNcool. Learn from my years of neat and tidy shoes that mum was so proud of, learn from my "that's not bad its just mildly annoying" style, learn from my poor sporting, book reading, mum-politeness-being self! We are simply not cool!!
Observe the kids that are cool and see, as I did, that they are lazy! Grumpy! Kids!

.... But that particular Kid has no job and moved to Tasmania....